Men's 2s 2010-11 Season Report

It was with mild trepidation in the changing rooms of Spencer Hockey Club at the tail end of the 2009/10 season that Budgie tentatively put his name forward as a potential successor to Dan Wright as skipper of the Super 2s. Over the summer a plan crystalised and so, after an un-precendented 2 warm up fixtures that the London Academicals 2s took to the dancefloor against Kenley. Ironically enough, one of the pre-season fixtures was a mixed 2s/3s fixture down at Old Georgians. More of them to follow.

In what proved to be a common thread throughout the season, Budgie checked the directions meticulously from the station to the ground on Google Maps. Unfortunately however, the contour lines weren't in place and the warm-up for the game consisted of a hike up Mount Kenley to basecamp Astro.

Unsure of how the team would fair this term, the Accies were very unlucky not to walk away with the spoils in a game that could have easily ended in an away win. That said, throughout the season it became obvious that a 1-1 draw was in fact a good result against the gritty and aggressive Kenley tribe. It is believed that the presence at the same ground some seasons ago of Pikey's grandpa had spurred the boys on.

Having taken heart from an early season, non-loss, the Accies season rolled into Old Reigate and without doubt, the sternest opposition to be faced this year. With an outrageously strong side, vim, vigour, Churchy's hair and the Swiss Family Wyatt as motivation, the Accies turned in the performance of the decade to romp home with a nads wadger's room to spare in a tightly fought contest, running home 3-2 winners. They knew that they were in for a tough season after that game and it would be the proverbial neck and neck until the very end.

The mid-season games took on a strangely familiar string to the early fixtures. What was strange was that the boys kept on stepping up to the plate and dealing out portions of whuppass throughout the outer reaches of Surrey. Time after time the 2's enjoyed winning beers with some nice beans & chips (or tinned veg, milk & chilli powder if playing at home). Moral was higher than Charlie Sheen after a night on the crack and the good times were flowing.

Suddenly, our ageing band of warriers were whispering. Surely not? Surely, like Charlie, we couldn't go all the way? Surely we couldn’t finally escape Div 3?

Unfortunately, at this point we now have to mention the social pariah dressed in purple in white. Our 2010/11 Nemeses, Newton Faulkner and Captain C-Bomb. In all of the games played this year, there genuinely was a spirit akin to that of the Long Room at Lords. To a man, (apart from Olly Martin throughout and Botty at Battersea Park) we played in a truly gentlemanly fashion. Only the odd word was said out of turn to an unsuspecting umpire (normally correctly too).

However, in two fixtures against the collective amoebae known as Old Georgians our wits were tested to the limits. Firstly, down at OCs, the gracious offer of losing both our subs in order to umpire was thrown back in our faces like a warm bag of dog mess and Newton Faulkner somehow managed to score the goal of his life when he wasn't swatting flies away from his fetid dreadlocks. A loss was a truly hard blow to take akin to being pinned in the short and curlies by a quick bowler. Further woe however was to befall the 2s in perhaps the most biased umpiring performance ever. It is fair to assume that Australia would have come a cropper in the face of such un-sportsmanship. The true nature and magnitude of the bias was noted when the un-flappable, Mr Calm of Calmtown Robbie Wyatt was turned into a spitting couldron of hatred now known as Angry Rob. It wasn't pretty!!

In what could have been a crucial game for the 2's, a free-hit to the Accies in the final minute as the attacked lifted it into the knees of the defender was ignored and then a P Flick awarded when Budgie wiped out the centre forward. The final whistle went as the protestations continued. The boys were gutted. Somehow too again, one of the oppo stepped up and scored the flick of his life past Budgie's stick. A 2-2 draw (that would have been the result of the century in the face of such adversity) was then turned into a shuddering defeat. An abomination.

Many a team would have cashed in the folded, cashed in the chips and downed a bottle of Bucky to numb the pain after such a loss. This band of brothers was made of sterner stuff though and the Accies took the pain, sucked in, man'd up and grew Cahunicus Maximi to deliver a run in of such precision and commitment. To the huge indignation of the boys, Captain C-Unit (pic below) of OGs was heard to say in the bar as we left "See you next year when you don't get promoted".

If we would have gone to a different University we might have turned round and smashed the place up... but revenge is a dish best served cold… in a champagne flute.

After what seemed like a 100 years, it came down to the last game of the season. In an ironic turn of fate, what stood between the Super 2s and promotion glory was the very same team that Budgie, Dan Wright & Ash all left as a result of them being antisocial loosers. Dressed in our BUSA finery the boys took to Battersea Park knowing that a draw or win would result in promotion. Keen not to leave things to chance, talk was only of winning the game and sailing up to Div 2.

Would you Adam and Eve it. With the words of Captain C-Unit ringing loud in our ears, the boys turned in a performance of true class in front of the partisan and boisterous home supporters. Wanderers didn't stand a chance and were duly put to the sword in a Navy Seal'esque fashion.

The 2's finally delivered the season that had been in them for the past few years. What spurred them on? Perhaps it was the half time oranges, perhaps it was global warming. We reckon though it was just that the squad consisted of a massive bunch of winners. Congrats to you one and all boys. Lets line up again come September to prove that it wasn't a flash in the pan. The only motivation required... We never, EVER want to play Georgians again until we pass their 1s as they freefall into Surrey Division 9.

Thanks must also go out to the students who have represented the 2s this year. It's been a great year for integrating new blood into the side and as the collective bones of the old guard audibly creak, the future of the club lies in the snakebite stained palms of you all. Here's to a fabulous Olympic Season.

Winners….one and all.

Huge hat tips have also to be provided to all of the students that have played such a huge role in our success this year. We've developed a blueprint for success based on a diet of long, hard training sessions, skipping and pub golf. Chaps, we raise a glass to every single person who's played their part this year.

Congratulations to all. We are, as the song suggest.......moving on up!! Booooooom!!